


The Waters of Goodbye

by harrysbraid



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Teen Angst, a little fluff here and there, larry stylinson - Freeform, larry stylinson oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 17:19:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1274677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrysbraid/pseuds/harrysbraid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis lives in a world where you can't fall in love with the same sex but they fall in love anyways</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Waters of Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! my first ever fanfic ever published!! how exciting! :) i had this idea for quite a while and i finally wrote it and finished it in the beginning of 2014. i just hope you guys read this and enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing this! ok have fun reading :D xx

"Have you ever thought about it?" asks Louis.

"Thought about what?" Harry responds.

"What it would be like to not live in a world like ours. To live in a world where people are able to love other without being afraid of what other people think." 

Harry frowns. Louis always asks weird questions like these,but this time it feels different. “I guess so……” 

Louis sits up and looks directly into Harry’s green eyes. “You don’t understand do you?”

Harry shakes his head.  

Louis sighs,obviously tired,but Harry doesn’t know because of what. “It’s just…….how do I say it…….” Harry can see how much he’s struggling to [form](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/latentlarry/drafts#)the words. 

Harry sits up also. “Look whatever it is, it’ll be ok.” Louis shrugs,not believing him. “And what does this have to do with loving someone?” Harry observes Louis. 

Louis, so beautiful to look at. Even more beautiful under the moonlight. Even more beautiful in the creepy forest. His gray eyes are more mystically magnificent,especially when he’s with Harry. Just being in his presence can cause anyone to smile. Harry can feel the corner of his mouth turning up. Harry looks at Louis and feels a swelling in his chest. He forces it to go down. He is not in love. He can’t be in love. He shouldn’t be in love. Not with the same sex. Not in this world. Not ever.

Louis looks up into the sky, down on the grass, than to Harry. His eyes are glistening with tears. He smiles sadly. “I shouldn’t be ashamed,but I have to be.” He takes a shaky breath. “I’m trying not to be ashamed.”

"Louis, please tell me. I can help you." 

"No Harry you can’t. Whatever I’m about to tell you, you must promise to not tell anyone. Not one soul. Not your mom,your sister,not even our best mates. It’ll just stay between the two of us."

Harry nods. “Of course Lou.” 

Louis takes a deep breath, leans to Harry’s ear, cupping his hand over it. Louis’ hot breath causes Harry to suck in a deep breath and his heart to beat a mile faster. Louis smells so good and his [skin burns](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/latentlarry/drafts#) as hot as the sun. How is it that Louis can make Harry feel so much more alive yet feel like he’s dying on the spot?

"I’m in love with you." Louis whispers. He leans back, biting his lip, afraid of what Harry will say and how he’d react. "That’s the big secret." 

In another decade, on another planet, Harry would’ve been happy. He would beover the moon. He would be the happiest man in the world. But he isn’t. He feels sad. 

Harry takes Louis’ hand in his. Louis’ eyes light up. “Louis Tomlinson.” Harry moves a hair out of Louis’ eyes. Oh, how much Harry can get lost in those eyes. “I’m sorry but I can’t be in love with you.” 

"You can’t or you shouldn’t?" Louis’ eyes harden and he rips his hands out of Harry’s grasp. "See this is what’s wrong with this society. They tell us we can’t love someone of the same gender. They make us afraid. They threaten our lives because we can’t control who we love. They make us feel ashamed. They make  _me_  ashamed and I don’t want to be ashamed anymore.” Louis leans[close](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/latentlarry/drafts#) into Harry’s face, barely 2 inches away from his lips. In a softer tone he says ,”I couldn’t help falling in love with you, Harry. I couldn’t. And I’m not denying it. Not anymore.” 

 _Not anymore?_   _What does_ that _mean?_  Harry wants to say something, do something, to make Louis change his mind. He wants to say, “no” or at least shake his head, but it’s not as if he can think straight with Louis this close. Louis flutters his eyelashes. He checks to see if Harry has a reaction. Apparently, Harry successfully pulled a poker face because Louis abruptly stands up and runs his hand through his hair. That makes Harry go crazy. 

"I know you feel it. I know you do. Why are you letting them win? Why can’t you let yourself feel without being cautious or afraid?" Louis tries to keep his voice low, but being angry, it isn’t easy when you know the one chance at love can be taken away from you at any moment. 

Harry feels anger bubbling up in his stomach and he stands up. He’s the same height as Louis. “I don’t feel anything. Not to you.” Even in his ears, he sounds like he’s lying.

Louis scoffs. He takes a step towards Harry. Harry gulps. “You don’t feel anything huh?” Harry barely has the chance to nod when he feels Louis’ small hands wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Harry feels his mouth drying up. 

"How about now?" Louis teases.

Harry shakes his head. Frustrated, Louis grabs the back of Harry’s neck and their foreheads connect. They both breathe heavily. Harry tries not to think about the pink lipped boy in front of him.

"What about now?" Louis asks innocently. Harry tries to look anywhere but Louis. Louis follows the direction of where Harry’s eyes land, which land on Louis’ lips. Louis lightly places his thumb on the bottom of Harry’s lip. Louis whispers,"Kiss me, Harry." Louis got his wish. Harry kisses Louis as if his life depended on it. Louis tastes so much better than Harry imagined. Harry didn’t even know that he imagined kissing him until he feels as if feet left the ground.

 All those times sneaking at night in the forest, just to have alone time with the one boy he truly loved is enough for Harry to accept the fact that he is in love. In love with a boy. A  _boy_. Harry can’t bring himself to care at the moment because he is kissing the most amazing person in the world. Harry opens his mouth and so does Louis. They lay on the grass, kissing each other until their lips become swollen.

"It took you long enough." Louis giggles. Harry tackles him with another round of kisses.

***

 It’s been 1 year since that night. They haven’t been caught in the forest. Not even once. That’s not the problem though. The problem is Louis. Louis is the eldest of 5 and he can’t find a job. His family is struggling enough as it is. He can’t find a job to help support his family. Harry tries to be helpful. Pointing out that his bakery needs some help but Louis wouldn’t take it. Harry would ask Zayn, Niall, and Liam to help out. They try just as much as Harry, but Louis still doesn’t take anything. “I need to find the job on my own. I need to depend on myself too, you know?” Louis explains. Harry clenches his teeth but nods. 

Louis finally finds a job. One of the highest paying jobs out there. He works as a messenger, for the king. Harry feels absolutely happy, letting out lots of “woohoos” and “good jobs” and congratulation kisses when they were alone. All Louis would do is force a smile. Harry knows what he’s thinking about, cause he’s thinking about it too. 

"You know I won’t see you for a while? And by a while I mean for more than half the year? And not being able to see you for that long would make me go crazy." It’s the last day before Louis has to leave and it’s been a day full of forced smiles and pushing back tears for the night.

"I know. I won’t be able to kiss you as much." Harry whispers back. He looks around. The only people around are little kids skipping rocks on the lake. Their secret is safe. 

Louis smiles, the crinkles by his eyes showing up. “I’ll miss those green eyes of yours.” 

"Don’t worry. You’ll be back in no time. You better write to me. Tell me all about the king’s castle." 

"Of course. And not to mention all the pastries I’ll be able to eat. I bet they’d be much better than your crummy ones." 

"Hey! Mine’s aren’t bad!"

"Oh, really? I remember I ate one tiny bite and I had an upset stomach for 3 whole days. And you tell me it’s not bad." Louis rolls his eyes but smiles after.

"Ok that was one time!" Harry protests.

"Yeah! And that one time of eating your pastry gave me food poisoning." Louis says.

Harry couldn’t help it. It was the last day of being able to hang out with Louis and Louis looks absolutely wonderful in his khakis and plain white t-shirt. In the sunlight, Harry can see through the shirt and sees Louis’ toned chest. He looks even more stunning as the sun sets in the horizon, making his tanned skin look even more ravishing. Harry can’t help thinking how much he wanted to kiss this boy. The boy with the most beautiful gray eyes. No matter how much or how long he looks at Louis, he seems to become more mesmerizing than he already is. Harry than thinks about Louis working for the king, and not being able to see his love for more than half the year. He feels his stomach dip with sadness. Another part of him thinks that he has to let Louis go. Knowing he has to let him go. He can’t keep Louis penned in. He can’t cage a human, just like he can’t cage his feelings that are exploding out of him. Louis will always be his and Harry would always be Louis’. They will always be each other’s.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asks after a while.

"Just thinking about what it’d be like without you." 

"No. I command you to not think about that. This is our last day together and we can’t mope about until it ends. I command you to think about something else. C’mon." Louis says, trying to lighten the dark mood that has fallen upon them.

Harry looks directly into Louis’ eyes. He smiles and says,”I’m thinking about how good it would feel to have your lips against mine’s.” 

Louis stands up.”Meet you at the forest than?” Louis winks.

"No other place I’d rather be." Harry stands also, having to bend a little to bite Louis’ shoulder.Harry didn’t know what came over him. Louis laughs and says,"Save it for tonight,Curly." 

Harry smiles, utterly and undeniably in love with him. 

Harry notices a woman standing not far, but close enough to see what they did. They stare at each other for a moment. She gives him a suspicious look before walking on. 

 ***

The moon has risen and it’s the time to meet up with Louis. Harry has never been caught going out before. He didn’t think it’d happen anytime soon. He didn't think it would happen at all. He opens the door when he hears a shuffling behind him. He turns around cautiously. He sees his mum.

"Mum. I just remembered I-"

"Oh save it. I know you’re going to that boy again. Louis is his name, right?" 

He slowly nods. How long has she known? How did she know?

"It’s his last night here?" 

Again, Harry nods.

"Harry, let me ask you something." His mom walks to the door, closes it and directs him to the kitchen. "How long have you thought you can pull this off?"

"Well it’s been one whole year so I’m guessing you wouldn’t find out at all." Harry answers honestly. He doesn’t think he can lie at this time of night, nor can he lie to his mom at all. 

"Harry, I knew all this time. I knew from the beginning. Even before you guys started dating. I knew." She gently puts her hand on top of his.

"Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you send a letter to the king so I can get my head cut off just like every other homosexual out there?" Harry says bitterly.

"Because I believe in love. I believe, no, I  _know_ , that what you and Louis have is love. And nobody deserves to get their head cut off just because of that. They make people afraid. They make people ashamed of how they feel. And I just didn’t want you to be ashamed, too.” She squeezes his hand. His cold palm starts to grow warm in her welcoming warm ones. Her words remind Harry of that night when Louis and Harry confessed their undying love for each other.

"How come you didn’t tell me? Why now?" Harry asks. 

She thinks for a moment. “I guess I saw it in you all this time. I just wanted you to figure it out yourself.” 

Harry nods, understanding where his mom is getting at. She stands up. “Now have fun. Come back before the sun rises, ok?” 

"I will." Harry opens the door. 

"Wait. Before you go, I want you to know something." Harry’s mum takes a breath and says,"Don’t be ashamed of who you are just because others think it isn’t right. Believe in yourself." 

Harry gives her a tight hug. “I used to be ashamed. Not anymore.” 

Harry leaves with tears in his eyes as well as his mother’s.

 ***

"What took you so long?" Louis asks in a sharp tone. When he sees Harry with his bloodshot eyes, he immediately adds,"Because it’s totally fine." 

"I’m sorry, Lou. My mother wanted to talk." 

"About?"

"Us."

"What?" Louis practically shouts. 

"I know right," Harry says, still in shock.

"She didn’t turn you into the king?" 

"Surprisingly, no."

Louis seems to understand because he pats Harry’s shoulder. “Well that’s good, because I brought some rum and vodka for the both of us to drink.”

Harry takes a sip,the liquid burning down his throat. 

After finishing half the bottle, Louis lays on his back, staring up into Harry’s eyes. He gently lifts a finger and trails it down Harry’s nose. He traces the outline of his lips, his cheekbones, his forehead. Harry does the same. Not being able to handle not being inside of each other, they finally stop with the soft touches with the hard and passionate kisses. Louis plays with Harry’s curls while Harry lifts Louis’ shirt. 

They go on like that for a while before Louis cries out of nowhere. 

"I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?" asks Harry, a little out of breath.

"Yes. You did." Harry’s eyes widen. Louis can’t help but laugh. "Not that way, Harry. It hurts because I won’t be able to see you. I won’t be able to touch you. I won’t be able to see your green eyes. I won’t hear your raspy and deep voice. I won’t be able to do anything without thinking about you. I’m in love with you and it hurts. Loving you hurts so much." 

By now, Harry has tears streaming down his face. He knows Louis loves him, but he didn’t know he felt  _that_  much. 

Harry wipes a few tears from Louis’ cheeks. “We won’t be able to do the things we usually do, but we can still talk. We have the letters. We can write what happens in every single day of our lives until we see each other again. I’ll write so much you’ll get sick of me.” 

Louis chuckles. “Please. I can never get sick of you.” He kisses Harry once more on the lips, both of their tears merging into one. 

 ***

Before Louis leaves, Louis kisses Harry once again, his lips desperate for more. Louis pulls back before Harry pleads him to stay. “Harry Styles,” Louis says. He puts a hand over Harry’s chest.”You’ll always be in my heart.”

 ***

The sun rises everyday after that. The moon still shows up. The lake still has water in its banks. Yet, Harry is stuck. He feels as if ever since Louis left, time would stop and wait for him, just like Harry. Just like Harry would stay at the same spot in the forest until Louis comes back. Just like Harry would wait forever and ever. But no. The world doesn’t wait for anybody. Only people do. 

 ***

Harry writes everyday just as he promised he would. He immediately gets a letter back. He writes and writes, so much that his hand starts cramping. Harry knows that Louis would write as much, too. Or so he expected. Harry wants Louis to write as much as he does,but all Louis actually writes is barely a paragraph. Harry only receives Louis’ letters at least once a week. Sometimes not at all. When it’s been 3 months since Harry last heard from Louis, Harry expects no more letters in the mail. That’s when he actually gets what he waited for. 

_"Hi. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I just wanted you to know I’m fine. I was right: the pastries over here are way better than yours. But it isn’t the same. I taste yours and I feel at home._

_I’ve been busy and in a hurry, as you can see from my messy handwriting. My mom told me that even the money I’m sending back isn’t enough. I have to marry rich. I haven’t been married yet, but I have found someone that likes me. The king’s daughter, Eleanor. She’s a wonderful girl. I tried to fall for her, I tried every single thing I could think of to fall for her, but I just couldn’t. She’s no you._

_-Louis Tomlinson”_

Harry looks up from the letter. He rereads it over and over, the creases between his eyebrows growing deeper and deeper. He thinks how many months later until he can finally have Louis for himself. About 4 more months. _I can handle four more months_ , Harry tells himself. 

 ***

It’s been five months and Harry still hasn’t heard from Louis. Harry tells himself to have hope, but he barely has any left. One night, he decides to go to the forest. The moon is lower than most nights, and the wind picks up. The forest feels much lonelier and creepier without Louis. Harry looks around the forest. Harry is haunted by the bittersweet memories of Louis. It’s enough to make him want to curl up in a ball and cry. Harry sits, his back against the trunk of a tree. He becomes tired from all the sad thoughts of Louis, so he starts to fall asleep when he hears rustling to his right. Harry hides in the shadows of the tree. 

"Harry? Are you there?" The voice says. Harry’s eyes widen. The voice is one of the most beautiful and welcoming things Harry has heard. 

"I’m here Louis. I’m here."  _I’m here. I was always here._  

Harry steps into the light and Louis opens his arms. Harry cries with joy. 

"I thought I was never going to see you again." Harry whispers.

"Are you bonkers? Of course I’m coming back to see you!" Louis says, wrapping his arms around Harry tighter. 

Harry starts to hiccup. “Gosh, jeez, Harry have you missed me that much?” Louis says, trying not to make a big deal. Louis wipes away the tears from Harry’s cheeks and chin. “C’mon Harold. It’s ok. I’m here aren’t I?” 

"I can’t believe it. I was starting to think I was imagining you. I thought my mind was playing tricks." Harry hiccups.

"Of course not. You can’t imagine someone as fantastic as me. Your imagination isn’t that warped." That causes Harry to laugh and a smile coming out of Louis. "C’mon. Lets catch up." 

They caught up until the moon has been replaced with the sun.

Right before they part ways, Louis holds Harry’s hand. “I have something to tell you.” 

Harry squeezes in response. 

"Remember when my mum told me I had to marry rich? Well, I did. Or  _about_  to. Eleanor fell for me and she asked for her father’s permission to marry me. I said yes. I had to say yes.” Louis says.

Harry frowns. He feels an ugly stab in his chest. “Do you feel anything back?”

Louis shakes his head.

"When did this happen?" 

"The month I was about to leave the king’s palace. That’s why it took five months instead of four to get here. Eleanor wanted me to stay for another month so we can plan the big wedding." Louis rolls his eyes as if it’s no big deal.

The thing is, it  _is_  a big deal. Louis having to marry someone just because she has money and not because it’s out of love. How can Louis stand for that?

"What happened to not being ashamed of how you feel? What happened to that?" Harry asks.

"I’m not ashamed."

"Than why marry someone you don’t love?" What Harry really wanted to ask was, _'Why not me? Why not marry me'_  but he already knows the answer. They can’t. They just can’t.

"Have you ever thought that I have other people I love and care about besides you? Don’t you think I have a family to think about? I have to marry her to support my family. Without her I would just be a disappointment and a failure to them." Louis looks at Harry as if to add, _'and a failure to you.'_  Harry flinches and Louis catches that. “Oh God, I’m sorry I’m just so so sorry.” Louis places his forehead on his palm, smacking it repeatedly. 

Harry grabs both of Louis’ wrists and says,”Louis. Look at me.” Louis’ eyes stay on his lap. “Louis please. I said look at me.” Harry says more firmly. Louis looks up. His eyes say,”I’m sorry”. All Harry wants to do is run into the woods with Louis by his side, not caring about either of their families. Especially not caring about Eleanor. But he feels at the bottom of his gut that Louis needs to hear what he has to say, not run away. Harry rubs Louis’ curled fists until they become open palms. He places it in his cheek and kindly says,”I understand. I know you have a family to think about. And I guess I was just jealous that you’re marrying a someone besides me.” Louis’ eyes light up.  ”You’re not stupid or a disappointment.” Harry continues. “Not to me. Not to your mom or your sisters. Not to anyone. Heck, you got proposed by the princess herself!” Louis chuckles at that. He tries to force down the smile. “I love you, Louis Tomlinson. You are worth more than you can ever possibly imagine.” 

Louis kisses Harry’s nose. “Quite a speech you made.” Louis says before kissing Harry.Harry misses those pair of lips so much he feels as if he would explode without having them smushed against his. Before things got too hot and heavy, Louis breaks apart from Harry and says,”You were jealous, huh? You wanted to marry all this.” Louis gestures to all of him.

Harry nuzzles his cheek against Louis’ neck. “Don’t flatter yourself, Tomlinson.”

All night they couldn’t stop smiling.

 ***

Three more nights, they sneaked into the forest as usual. All was quiet and playful and full of laughter and joy. Harry thought he’d never been happier in his life. The fourth night was different. 

"Louis, where are you going?" Harry hear a girl’s voice say. Harry’s questions pop in his head, but he ignores it all. He climbs a tree and stays quiet. 

"I’m just going out for a walk." Louis says, his voice higher than a person not suspicious would say. 

"Out into the woods? Why?" Eleanor(Harry guesses) says.

"I need some fresh air. You know, sometimes my room becomes too stuffy and I need to be alone." Harry can hear in the tone of Louis’ voice that he’s trying to control his annoyance. 

"Oh, well why won’t you just stay with me in my room?" Eleanor suggests. 

Now Harry  _really_  doesn’t like her. 

"I’m sorry Eleanor,but this is something I have to do alone."

Silence on the other end. Harry can feel Eleanor’s curiosity seeping out and slowly becoming anger. Yet, Harry hears a smile being formed in her lips. “Oh, ok. It’s fine. Just tell me when you need me.” Harry hears rustling and the sound soon fades.

"Harry? Harry? Where are you?" Louis asks as soon he’s sure Eleanor is out of earshot.

"I’m here." Harry responds. Louis looks up and smiles. 

"Ah, there you are." Louis opens up his arms to catch Harry. Harry’s butt leaves the branch and he falls right on top of Louis. 

"Look, I fell from heaven. And it surely hurt." Harry says jokingly. 

"Oi! I don’t need your corny jokes when you practically attacked my penis." Louis says with a pained smile.

"I did, didn’t I?" Harry smiles flirtingly, showing off his dimples. Louis pokes at them.

"Now, now Harold,don’t get too crazy." Louis waves his finger in front of Harry’s face. 

Harry starts to kiss Louis from his cheeks, down to his neck and to his collarbone. Harry can hear a small moan coming from Louis’ lips. “Is this too crazy for you?” Harry whispers.

"Harry, seriously, get off of me. I can’t take it." Louis says breathless. Harry loves that he has that effect on Louis, especially ‘cause Louis has the same effect on Harry. Harry continues up and down, kissing Louis’ cheeks, his nose, his neck, biting his bottom lip, and hearing Louis moan and gasp from all of it. Louis, not being able to handle any more, he flips Harry under him and Louis now tops. Louis lifts Harry’s shirt, revealing his belly, and Louis bites his tummy. He slides up onto Harry’s face, leaning in as if to kiss him, than quickly leaning away. 

"Hey! You can’t do that!" Harry says.

"What did I just do Harry?" Louis gives Harry a smug smile and Harry tickles Louis, causing the both of them to fall over like two baby kittens fight-playing. 

Harry roars with laughter than Louis shushes him. Harry still continues to laugh but looking at the expression on Louis’ face, he holds it back. 

"What?" Harry asks.

Louis gets up from the grass and slowly approaches a bush. Harry frowns with curiosity and suspicion. Feeling as if he’s being watched, Harry wraps his arms around himself and looks from his left and right. 

Louis pushes back a part of the bush and sees no one. Louis walks back, his hand tangled in his hair. “I guess I was being paranoid.” Louis sits back down. 

Harry thinks back about the time when Eleanor followed Louis, and he realized that he never asked about it. “Louis, what happened when I was up in the tree? How come Eleanor was following you?” 

Louis sighs. “I don’t know really. I was just walking out and just as I enter the forest, she talks and I realized she was behind me the whole time.”

"I have another question: how come she came here with you? I thought you were supposed to come alone?" Harry asks, still confused.

“ _Supposed_  to, Harry.  _Supposed_  to. She wanted to see my family and get to know them and she wanted know how I grew up and it’s just a lot of complications, Haz. You don’t want to know.” Louis says all of this in a rush, as if he doesn’t want to waste another breath on talking about Eleanor and the wedding and everything that isn’t Harry and Louis. Everything that isn’t them being  _together_. 

"And since she came, does that mean the king is here, too?"

Louis swallows. He nods.

"I don’t think we should do this anymore. Meet up at night." Harry says suddenly.

"What?" Louis asks bewildered.

"Before, there weren’t any royals near. There weren’t many people watching us. Now that you’re getting married to one of them, to one of the royals, I think it would be nearly impossible for us to see each other without getting beheaded." Harry says. 

Louis frowns. Harry can see the wheels turning in Louis’ head, trying to come up with a logical explanation as to why they _should_  continue, even though the risks of getting caught is higher than ever. 

"Louis, please don’t argue with me on this." Harry says tiredly. He lays his big hand atop Louis’ tiny ones, and their fingers intertwine once more. Louis clenches his jaw, but nods in agreement.

Just as the sun start to rise, they go back to their cottage. Well, Harry would go back to his cottage. He isn’t sure where Louis would be staying.  _Probably somewhere with Eleanor_ , Harry grumbles to himself. He falls asleep right as his head hits the solid of his pillow as the sun rises halfway across the horizon.

 ***

"Harry! Wake up! Please! This is urgent!" 

Harry opens his eyes and rubs the sleep away. Louis has his hands on Harry’s shoulders, shaking him.

"What is it, Lou? Is it so important that you have to wake me up in my own cottage?" Harry rolls over in his side. 

"Yes! It’s urgent! Just as I went back to Eleanor’s, I overheard her talking to her father." 

That got Harry a little bit awake, but leaving him mostly confused. “ _And?_ ”

"She was saying how he was right. How the king was right. Right about everything."

"Okay, now you’re just talking in riddles. How about start from the beginning I suppose?" 

"She was saying how he was right, about not marrying someone as low rank as me. To not marry a commoner. To not trust someone lower than the priest. To not marry so young. She was  _there_ , Harry. She was _there_  the whole time. I thought she left but she stayed behind the bushes, spying our every move. She told her father about us! He knows and everyone in the kingdom knows and we’re going to get our heads cut off!” By than, Louis is gasping for air, due to not pausing for breaks and for crying while talking. Harry’s heart beats million times after Louis has told him everything. 

"We have to go. Before they catch us. Take as many food as you can. I’ll get clothes in the back." Harry says, trying not panic. But it’s pretty hard considering the only light in his life has dimmed down to a tiny speck. 

Louis’ tears shine on his face like diamonds. Harry has the crazy urge to lick them away. Even when sad and crying, Louis is still the most beautiful human being Harry has ever seen. “We can’t. If we leave, than our families would be the one getting beheaded.” 

"What?! Since when did that happen?"

"The king just added that to the List of Unbreakable Laws and Vows. If we leave than our family dies as punishment.” 

Harry sighs. Louis isn’t making things easier. Louis grabs Harry’s face in his hands and kisses him. Harry kisses back but lets go quickly. Harry doesn’t want to forget the taste of Louis’ lips on his but he has to tell his mum and sister what has happened.

"Does your mum and sisters know?" Harry asks. Louis nods. "I’ll wake up my mom and sister. Don’t move, okay? We’ll be okay." Harry stands up and kisses the top of Louis’ head. Each step he takes, each step he takes away from Louis, is like walking in the waters if his sadness. It’s like he’s walking in the waters of goodbye. A much more permanent goodbye.

"Mum! Wake up!" 

"Oh, honey what’s happened?" Harry’s mom asks, hearing the tone in his voice. 

Harry opens his mouth and tells her everything that has happened, when he hears the door open with a loud BOOM and the sound of Louis’ scream. 

"Louis!" Harry starts to run but his mom holds him back.

"Harr-mmmffff!" Screams Louis on the other end of the cottage.

"Mum! Can’t you hear what they’re doing to him? Let me go!" Harry yells.

"Louis Tomlinson, you have committed a crime much worse than murder. You shall be beheaded at noon." A booming voice says. Loud footsteps follow the voice’s lead and Harry hears crashing and breaking and shredding. The worst noise of all was hearing Louis fight back with all his might, even though Harry knows Louis is afraid as hell. The guards break through into Harry’s mum’s room and sees Harry.

"There. That’s the boy." The one in all black says. The one in all brown rips Harry from his mum’s grasp.

"Harry!" His mum cries out.

"Mom? What’s happening?" Harry’s 5 year old sister, Gemma says, coming from the other side. She sees the guards and her eyes widen. 

"Gemma! It’s fine! It’ll be fine!" Harry says, trying to get away from the guards. They tighten both their grips on him, practically breaking his arms.

"Mommy……..mommy, what’s happening to Harry……..?" Gemma hides her face in her mother’s arms for comfort and she shields her daughter’s eyes.

The guard in black comes close to Gemma. 

"Don’t you lay a finger on my family!" Harry screams. 

"Shut up boy! You’ll make things much worse for yourself." The man in brown whispers in a soft tone. Harry, surprised, looks up to see his face all scrunched up. Harry has a feeling this guard saw enough pain and agony and doesn’t count on seeing more. Harry decides to shut up for the sake of the guard. 

"Little girl, your brother committed a crime much worse than murder. Can you tell me what that crime is?" The guy in black asks in a dangerous tone.

Gemma sneaks a peek at Harry, to her mom, than to the guard. She puts on a brave face and says in a tone Harry has never heard the sweet girl use before,”He fell in love. That isn’t a crime deserving of death.” 

The guards slaps Gemma, causing her to shoot to the ground.

Harry’s cry if despair gets lost in the cry of his mum’s. 

"Wrong answer!" The guy walks out to the front of the cottage. "People still don’t understand." He says in a sad voice. His face as hard as steel, he says,"Burn this house down to the ground after their son gets beheaded."  

The guy holding Harry nods. Harry holds back a scream.

 ***

Harry and Louis are kept in separate cells. The good news is that their cells are right next to each others’.

"I’m so sorry, Lou." 

"I’m so sorry, Haz." 

"At least we get to talk for a little longer."

"I guess."

Harry put his hand between the bars and searches for Louis’ hands. Louis finds it and they intertwine.

"I miss you."

"I’m holding your damn hand, Harold, what else is there to miss?"

"I mean I miss  _you_. I miss us before all of the Princess Eleanor crap got in the way.” Harry explains.

Silence on the other end. The only response he got was Louis drawing circles between the space of Harry’s thumb and finger. 

Harry was starting to wonder about Louis’ sisters and how they handled it all. Harry thought about his mum. Harry thought about how Gemma stood up to a guy that is 4 feet taller than her. He than thought about how she got slapped, and Harry cringes at the memory. He didn’t notice that he held onto Louis’ hand tighter, and even though Louis wasn’t there to see the moments of Gemma’s bravery, Louis squeezes back as if reading Harry’s mind. The squeeze comforts Harry, and no other person in the world can bring Harry that much comfort in one hand movement. Nobody in the world can make Harry feel like he was flying over the moon. Nobody in the world made Harry feel his breath being taken away. Nobody in the world made Harry feel butterflies in his stomach and so much love swelling in his chest. Nobody in the world can love Louis as much as Harry has. The only person in the world to ever make Harry feel this way was Louis. It was all Louis. Was it so bad to fall in love with someone of the same sex? Love is love right? No matter who with. 

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asks in a soft voice, as if afraid of breaking the quiet in the hallway.

"Thinking about how much I love you. What are you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about the conversation I confessed my love to you. It felt like such a long time ago." Louis whispers.

Harry thinks about that time. Harry couldn’t believe how stupid and how blinded he was. He was blinded by his fear. And his fear blinded his love for Louis. “Louis, remember when you said that you couldn’t help falling in love with me? You also said that you weren’t going to deny it.  _'Not anymore'_  you said. What did you mean by that?”  

"I was thinking how the king made this stupid law about not to able to fall in love with the same sex. I was afraid, really. Of being judged by not only the king but everyone around me. My family, my friends, and you.  _Especially_  you. I didn’t want to be that way, but deep down I knew it. I  _knew_  I was gay. I didn’t want to believe it because by believing it would make it a fact, and I would rather be dead than have it become a part of my reality. But than we started talking and sneaking around at night in the forest. I felt all these wonderful things around you. One night, when I couldn’t sleep, my thoughts wandered to you. I was telling myself, ‘No. You can’t be in love with one of your mates. Especially your best mate. You can’t be in love with the same sex. You can’t you can’t you can’t.’ Than another part of me, the more hopeful and kind part of me said,’Just think about how you feel around him. Just think about all those wonderful things you felt when he would flip his hair like a dog when it was wet, or when his green eyes are brighter when he’s surrounded by nature, or when the silence at night wasn’t lonely because he, Harry Styles, was there, too.’ I than admitted to myself, I was a goner for you. ‘Not anymore’ I told myself. ‘I won’t stop myself from loving you the way I do. Not anymore.’ I said to myself.” 

Harry let’s the speech sink in. 

"I know this might be the last thing i will ever say to you but it was a pleasure to meet you. It was a pleasure to meet someone so magically wonderful and fantastic and funny and amazing as you are. I’m glad I met someone like you. And I’m glad I had the privilege to fall in love with you." Harry says.

"Harry Styles, this is why I love you so goddamn much. You have a way with words." Louis says. Harry chuckles. 

They don’t know how long they sat there, the wall between them, their hands intertwined, and their butts numb, but later, they hear footsteps. Two guards. One for each boy.

"I’ll see you." Louis says, giving Harry one last of his famous sad smiles Harry so often sees nowadays. 

"See you." Harry says, trying to smile instead of cry.

The guards than made them walk at the opposite ends if the hallways.

 ***

Harry didn’t think the dark hallway would end. When sunshine breaks through the walls and he has to walk up a few flight of stairs. All he can see is a white blur so he trips over his feet repeatedly.

"C’mon son, get your feet under you." One of the guards said. 

Harry is pushed down on his hands and knees on the stage where the beheading takes place. As his eyes adjust to the sudden light, he sees a tan figure in front of him, also on his hands and knees. Harry says,”Louis?” And he gets the response,”Harry!” 

Harry hears a high pitched slap coming in front of him. He sees Louis cupping his right cheek and Harry feels his heart break. “Don’t talk to him!” The guard said. 

Harry wonders why the guard didn’t slap  _him_. Harry was the one that said Louis’ name first, not the other way around. His eyes finally adjust and he looks around. He sees on his left is the king, looking as mighty and powerful as ever. Sitting on the throne below him is Princess Eleanor. She has a sad look on her face but tries to hide it with a cold look. Harry understands why now. Louis broke Eleanor’s heart. The princess’ heart for that matter. That deserves a little more punishment before death comes running down.

Harry’s and Louis’ head are placed below the blade that will soon come down on their throats. Harry looks up to Louis and Louis to him. Many things pass over Louis’ face at once: fear, hope, determination, guilt. But there’s one emotion that stays on his face and in his eyes: love. And  _that’s_  when Harry figures out that the risk was worth it. If his punishment was death just because he found the the most important thing in his life, because he found _love_ , because he found  _Louis_ , than all that risk was worth it.

The king rises from his seat. Harry never takes his eyes off of Louis. “Ladies and gentlemen, these young boys, despite all my warnings and death threats, have made the choice, the choice of falling in love with the other. Falling in love with the same  _gender_. It’s a crime that deserves death, and after death, they will be sent to hell where people like them belong. People like them belong in a place of their own in hell.” The king says in a cold voice. 

Harry looks down at the crowd. He sees his family and Louis’ family right in the front of the crowd, guards on both their sides, so it’s impossible to not watch and to escape. Harry sees his mum, silent tears streaming down her face. Gemma, crying on her mum’s shoulders. Than he looks at Louis. Louis has tears forming in his eyes and Harry wants to kiss them all away. 

"You know Harry." Louis says, ignoring the king’s speech. "Even though they will try to separate us, it won’t work. I’ll see you again, and if we fall in love again in the same generation as now, we’ll live and die together, just like now. In another lifetime, I will see you. I will fall all over again for your pretty green eyes." 

Harry’s eyes full up with water. “In another lifetime, I will find you. Even if I fall for another, that person still wouldn’t be you. I will find you and we will fall in love again and again and again. You’re the only one I want. You’re the only one I need. You’re the know one I love,Lou.” 

"Now it’s time for the finale!." The king bellows out.

Harry’s heart beats faster. Louis is too far for Harry’s hand to touch, but he tries anyways. Harry pulls out his hand and reaches for Louis. Louis sees what Harry tries to do and does the same. 

"Three!" The crowd counts.

"Goodbye, Louis." Harry says.

"Two!"

"Goodbye, Harry." Louis cries.

"One!"

Their fingers brush by each other’s and they say at the same time,”I love you,” as their final goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> so what do you guys think? all comments, criticism, and love are accepted! hopefully you understood the moral of this oneshot :) AND JUST THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME IN READING THIS I LOVE YOU <3 come and say hi http://latentlarry.tumblr.com/


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